When it comes to parenting, discipline and order are extremely important.
Following routines, educating kids about morals and shaping their minds to achieve greatness are some of the ways to do it.
However, you must also learn to recognize their emotions, their needs and must communicate when necessary.
Not doing so will only distance you from your child, making you appear more strict than ever.
That said, here are some ways you can find out whether you’re a strict parent or not.
1. You have a knack for discipline and you love introducing new rules
As important as it is to have rules, boundaries in a parent-child relationship, it is as crucial to know when to stop. Nagging your child, introducing new rules just to get things done, without giving it a second thought, will only make you appear strict. That said, you must learn to be flexible and must bend some rules from time to time. While your child may benefit from some routines, they must have the freedom to make certain decisions in their lives.
2. You hardly ask your kid for their opinion
Children may seem innocent, but sometimes they have the best possible advice. Including them in your decision-making, making them a part of your choices, makes them feel more welcomed. However, if you do the complete opposite and do not allow them to have a say in their own matter, they may either lack self esteem or may become the bullies that they see you to be. Such authoritarian parenting may cause some rifts and create conflicts in your relationship with your child.
3. You focus more on success than effort
While it is alright to expect your child to ace at everything, it is also important to applaud them when they fail. A top score or a first prize may place you on cloud nine, but if they fail, as a parent, you must tell yourself to appreciate them and acknowledge their efforts. If you don’t do that and push your child further, it may backfire, making your child ignorant.
Strict parents will have experiences where they often catch their children lying. This does not mean that your child was born a liar, rather they feel more comfortable resorting to lies than telling the truth. Probably because they’re afraid or they’re ready to risk being caught over being punished for telling the truth.
5. You resort to threat rather than productive communication
Have you ever tried communicating with your child when they demonstrate bad behaviour? Or do you threaten them? A strict parent is likely to use threat and punishment to bring order in the family. They’ll create situations where the child will have no choice but to adhere to the rules and regulations. While this may get the work done, it surely has a deep impact on the child’s mental development. That said, you must therefore resort to healthy conversations and try to understand the source of your child’s behaviour and temperament.
Children have a hard time expressing their concerns. They’ll leave you some hints but will lack the words to express, which is why, as a parent, you must learn to understand your child, even when they don’t tell you anything. Do not ignore or neglect your child’s pleas and never expect them to handle it themselves. Rather make your way to their heart and help them communicate better.
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